A time of Change

A few nights ago I had a very intense and strange dream. I remembered it upon waking, which hasn't been the case in awhile, so I wrote it down. I gave it a couple days to sink in before looking up the meanings of different symbolic events in this dream. What I found was no suprise to me, but confirmation that my life is changing.Here is the dream and the interpretations I pieced together.

Dream : the births
In this dream, I discovered I was pregnant with a monster. This monster was eating me from the inside out and I was loosing massive amounts of blood. In the next scene I remember, I was giving birth in a field, and I was consumed with fear that I would be taken by this monster when it emerged. The wind was blowing through my hair and the long grass as I struggled to fight this creature. I was finally delivered of the monster and as soon as it reached the ground it turned into a beautiful, joyful girl child, and I was overcome with love.
In the same dream I gave birth yet again, this time more at peace with the monster in my belly. it was born surrounded by water, for I stood waist deep in beautiful clear ocean water and the sweet salty breeze vividly caressed my face and long blond hair.

The interpretation as I saw it/discovered, using the major key words:Giving birth to a monster implies that my inner creative energy has yet to differentiate itself and grow into expression. I may have hesitations (which I do) for releasing this "monster" for fear that others will judge or will not accept my ideals. It shows that I have growth ahead of me, ideas and feelings that have been repressed too long will emerge from me, changing my views and ultimately, me. In struggling to give birth to this monster, I am fighting to keep myself contained in the box I have made for myself. The blood symbolizes how I am draining myself by trying to contain my true self is this box. The field I stand in during the birth represents a time of growth and change. The joyful child represents the me set free and nurtured.and the second part of the dream;"To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. If the water is calm, clear, then it signifies that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation." - dreammoods.com
By standing in the clear water to give birth, I am freely releasing the creativity within me, letting go of the damage that I have repressed. The wind symbolizes that I have made a change, that I am becoming re-vitalized and energized spiritually; that it touches my face shows that I have become ok with presenting my true self to the world. The blonde hair implies that I need am relaxing and enjoying life a little more.
I think that the first birth is representing the state I am in now, that the second, the state I could come to, if I continue the same direction and stay strong. This is a time of personal growth for me, and I have indeed felt that change coming. When it happens, it will be a true enlightenment! So I pray that I can stay strong in the months to come; I know instinctively that this is something that will not happen overnight. It is a process of learning.